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Grief: Anger, it's part of Healing

Updated: Oct 16, 2023

Grief from the death of a loved one or suffering from separation/divorce, belief it or not, the emotions are the same when one is still in love – first, it is denial, then anger.

Anger is a typical stage of grief, and it can mask all other emotions. In most cases, the anger is targeted at the person leaving the relationship. Unfortunately, the one left behind may become so angry at the one who left that person becomes the worst lover and friend, maybe even the worst parent. It can become so bad that the one who left the relationship becomes the one you blame for everything that goes wrong in your life.

You may be angry with the person leaving the relationship, mad at yourself, or maybe mad at the situation that got you there.

These are normal feelings needed to help someone move through the grieving process. But never let your anger lead you to do bad things or cloud your judgment.

Seek help – admit when you need some professional support.


Over the years, I have witnessed many of my close friends struggle with their relationships, and I have watched some go through very messy divorces. I know that it is not up to us to get caught up in the middle. We can be there for them as a sounding board – someone to listen to them without judgment. However, never bring their anger into your relationship or marriage.

We may not know what happened. Was it from adultery? One person stopped taking care of themselves (due to the extra roles after marriage and children), leaving their partner to lose interest. Some couples during the pandemic could not handle the twenty-four-hour time together, or maybe it was the children being home. Financial burdens can also strain a relationship.

Whether you are male or female, as time goes by, some couples get so comfortable in their relationship that they start to take advantage of the other person. They think they will always be there…but they may not.

Remember to take the time today to look after yourself. Show your loved ones you care, a compliment, an extra hug or a kiss. Do something extra special for them and yourself.

Always remember that life can change in the blink of an eye; make today count!

Thank you for reading!

Much love,

Deborah Adele

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